Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Go Tigres.

If I were to list out my top ten favorite things to do, that list would include: watching georgia football games in any capacity (ok, maybe any college football games), kayaking down the hooch in springtime and early fall, being on top of tall (but stable) things, sitting on the back porch, anything involving being on the boat, beach bonfires, summertime cookouts, outdoor concerts, non nicaraguan hikes, and Braves Baseball games.

If I were to modify that last one to make it even more perfect, I'd say Braves Baseball Games in Fulton County Stadium during the early 90s, but as an adult. An impossible task, I know. I can't capture the dilapidated charm of FCS coupled with the excitement of a world series title at age 28... or can I?

The Chinandega Tigres proved to me that my dreams can not, in fact, be squelched as last night we sat front row at Tijarino Stadium, game 4 of the World Series. "Dilapidated charm" doesn't even begin to describe the stadium. The only word I can think of that describes it as aptly as I want is "shitty", and I mean that in the most wonderful, shittiest way possible.

We paid $10 for seats that usually go for about $4, and those are the rich people seats. Luckily, the beer is still under a dollar and if you wink at the guy to your right, he'll pour a little Gran Reserva in your cup if you let your elbows touch on the armrest. The vendors have no rhyme or reason to what or where they sell, nor do they care if they are imposing on your personal space in any way, shape, or form. The best sellers in our section were (1)the women pawning off something that came in a pizza box, but looked like it was fisher price pizza reheated (2) The tip top guy, who was selling 2 pieces of chicken and a roll for 60 cords and making the best profit of his life. (3) (This one is my personal favorite just because it is so outrageous) the endangered turtle eggs + salsa vendor. I would make a joke here, but it stands absurd enough on its own. Endangered sea turtle eggs. Topped with salsa. All sold for 50 cords. Don't tell PETA.

As Nicaragua usually goes, the game was crowded because they sold more tickets than they have seats, so we spend most of the game sitting on the stairs, narrowly avoiding collisions with sea turtle man or the kid selling the bags of mangos that look sketchier every time. We were surrounded by raging Tigre fans, who brought a giant stuffed tiger that they would launch into the air to crowd surf anytime something good happened. Our boys were taking good advantage of both the tiger and the $1 beers, which proved to be a success round about the 3rd inning.

During innings the loud speakers was alternating between "Don't stop believin'" and "Enter Sandman", but things switched up halfway through the game and from somewhere back in 1997, the Macarena starting blaring. Josh, Joey, David, and Jackson were on their feet in an instant, on their chairs/stairs, turned towards the crowd, doing the Macarena. For about 3 full minutes. That's right. They held off the game to finish the song and allow every nicaraguan with a camera to have a successful youtube video career after posting the 4 of them dancing in perfect sync. When the song was over, Josh took off his hat and receivied a standing ovation. And it was on national television.

There's a gringo on the team, Shawn Bowman, from Canada. I am still not sure he's attractive, but its on my bucket list to date a professional baseball player* (*we'll forget that he's a canadian chinandegan baseball player- but at least he made it to the world series. and all these years of lusting after tom glavine have gotten me nowhere). So I took matters into my own hands, and I wrote #29 an encouraging note, on a pizza box, which was delivered by the ball boy after the 4th inning. I had to make it witty, because he's canadian and they are usually self depricating and hilarious (to make up for being from canada). However, in retrospect, I am pretty sure he thinks I am going to have sex with him. I invited him to join us for Hochi Dochi (the new corn dog place) and I don't think I made it clear enough that that wasn't a euphemism. I'll keep you updated if he calls. He did score 2 back to back homeruns after the note, so something good has to come of it, I say.

Chinandega won the game, and the gringos won the stadium. Post game, the boys rushed the field. I looked up to see David running around the bases, full speed, with a crowd of triumphant nicaraguans behind him. Joey was throwing a pitch to josh from the pitcher's mound, and Jackson was holding up the tiger to bleachers full of drunk, singing fans.

So if I can't have Fulton County Stadium and 1995 back, I will embrace 2012 and the tigres.

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